I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
