it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
