no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
