At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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