i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
