plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
