my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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