youre lurking in front of me
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
