where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.