Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.

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(630): you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car. http://tfl.nu/fzr7

Replies (18) Good night (5625) Bad night (731)
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(707): View more from California

You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.

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(707): You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are. http://tfl.nu/sbxa

Replies (6) Good night (1193) Bad night (3042)
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(727): View more from Florida

the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere

(1-727): View more from Florida

it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man

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(727): the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere (1-727): it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man http://tfl.nu/dnxw

Replies (6) Good night (3805) Bad night (773)
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(513): View more from Ohio

4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him

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(513): 4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him http://tfl.nu/uj7g

Replies (3) Good night (2519) Bad night (798)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog

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(973): i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog http://tfl.nu/1yan

Replies (12) Good night (907) Bad night (2713)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

You're a rent hooker.

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(201): No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both. (1-201): You're a rent hooker. http://tfl.nu/wbsz

Replies (14) Good night (3675) Bad night (999)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick

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(608): Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick http://tfl.nu/ym1u

Replies (9) Good night (1870) Bad night (533)
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(410): View more from Maryland

he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.

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(410): he ate me out like he was chugging a beer. http://tfl.nu/i72l

Replies (13) Good night (714) Bad night (2780)
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(917): View more from New York City

I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.

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(917): I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved. http://tfl.nu/p2yu

Replies (3) Good night (1184) Bad night (536)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.

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(304): I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay. http://tfl.nu/a09s

Replies (6) Good night (760) Bad night (420)
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(904): View more from Florida

Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.

(1-904): View more from Florida

I told you to check, dude

(904): View more from Florida

Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.

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(904): Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday. (1-904): I told you to check, dude (904): Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out. http://tfl.nu/ef5z

Replies (14) Good night (1483) Bad night (529)
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(815): View more from Illinois

When did angry sex become our thing?

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(815): When did angry sex become our thing? http://tfl.nu/g3vv

Replies (3) Good night (742) Bad night (272)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.

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(309): Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign. http://tfl.nu/lj4r

Replies (5) Good night (293) Bad night (556)
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(305): View more from Florida

The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more

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(305): The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more http://tfl.nu/xgx0

Replies (6) Good night (430) Bad night (263)
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(281): View more from Texas

So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.

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(281): So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square. http://tfl.nu/ezqk

Replies (4) Good night (241) Bad night (478)

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