I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.