Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.