If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.