So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just found puke in my bra..
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.