Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
