hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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