I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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