the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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