So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
