If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
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We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
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You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone