if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
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I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
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Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review