some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I am midnight drunk by noon
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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