I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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