i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
