Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
