Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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