i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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