Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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