True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
