Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
where am i from again
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
