who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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