She said her name was "party"
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
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I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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