he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
