you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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