Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We have started to decorate penises.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
