my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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