i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up