Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
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Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
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They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
What's dad's email?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once