So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
