Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
