I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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