So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
