his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
