Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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