i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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