thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
