i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
