I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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