i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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