I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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