If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize