She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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