I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The uberlube is also flammable
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
