Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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