its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
