If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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