You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
