Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
