Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
