If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
