He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
