you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
