Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
