Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
