upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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