I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize