Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
be right there i have to get my cape
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
