My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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