My nipple is on Facebook.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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